Why We Should Be Friendly Never Familiar

Why we should be friendly but never familiar.

     This very important lesson was taught to me by Mrs. Chow, the toughest yet best boss I ever had.

     1989, during the hardest three weeks of my training at her fine dining Chinese restaurant, she enforced this one lesson every morning: Linda, be friendly never familiar with my customers because, it will cost me them. It will make them feel uncomfortable with you and they will not come back.

    I really didn't understand all that the lesson had to teach but, I did as she asked until about five years later when and elderly couple who had been coming in for years engaged me in a conversation about myself. They asked about me and what my plans in life where. I told them I had been attending college and was about to graduate in nine months. Excited the elderly woman said she would like to gift me with a briefcase. I thanked her and said it wasn't necessary but she insisted on the gift.

     Weeks went by and every time I saw them she would apologise for not having the gift for me. I said not to worry about it but, it weighed so heavy on her that eventually the elderly couple was so embarrassed by all the apologizing every time they saw me that they stopped coming in. Just as Mrs. Chow had said it would happen if I became familiar with them. I had cost her two customers.

     That lesson struck deep with me and I began thinking of how that simple lesson could apply to my life in a more broader sense. Could being familiar with others cost me friendships? I was trying to find out why so many, of what I thought were close friendship and family relationships, went so wrong? How could I be laughing and sharing intimate stories with someone until the wee hours of the morning and then within a month or so be the subject of their outwardly discontent that started with distancing themselves to blatantly shunning me? Then the gossiping whispers begin that built into a full blown brake in the relationship that ended with harsh words like, bitch, lier and ass hole. Friends and family members where forced to take sides and pick from the two of us and it was the one that most benefited them according to: distance to drive to see them and who has the boat or Red Wings tickets that always won out. But why? What happened that caused the chain of events that lead to forcing friends to choose one over the other? And why in the Hell does it keep happening especially with people you haven't know for a very long time like the new in- law or friend in the group? 

     Ever wonder why someone you have met relatively recently has just opened up a blurted out a very personal event in their life to you? I'll bet you were either flattered and think that they must think you're a trust worthy and wise person or, they are complete idiots for having done so. Either way you have just been set up by their action for a situation you do not want to be in.

     Because people feel the deep need to unburden and liken themselves to others, they will share a deep secret with you, unburden themselves on you, thinking that will be of some comfort to them until, the fear of what they have just revealed sets in now you're seen as a possible threat.

   To unburden yourself means to share your heavy burden,a sin or misdeed, with someone else. Oh yes, to have a friend to share your burden with. You have found someone who is like you. You feel like your not alone anymore. What a blessed thing to have, until you become fearful that the person you just shared your sin or burden with might become a threat. It doesn't matter if they are a real threat or not, you still feel that they may just expose your little dark ditty. The panic sets in and you begin thinking that maybe sharing that little secret with them was not such a good idea. So now what? Panic takes over their thoughts and you start plotting out ways to to cover your ass.

     The fearful confessor starts distancing themselves from you, the secret holder, and pointing out all your misgivings and flaws to the peer group you both belong to. Then whispers turn to full blown gossip and your friends start avoiding you and invite only one or the other. You're labeled as a trouble maker. Then someone steps up and tells you that so and so has been talking shit behind your back. You become defensive and in attempts to defend your position you tell the bad deed that was told to you by that person in confidence and thus you became what they had feared. Their fear set the actions in motion to their own self foe-fulled prophecy and you where sucked into it.

     It's a horrible cycle that happens over and over all too often. A friend or mate sets the action in motion with the telling of a secret that they later become fearful about. This causes them to set off a series of actions that lead to the unwanted situations you will find yourself in later. Most of us don't see what's really happening when we are in the middle of these unpleasant events and often blame other things rather than what's really happening, ignorance (thinking that sharing a burden unburdens you) , fear and self-mistrust (for if you couldn't keep a secret what makes you think they can?)  

Ignorance: Ignorance, because we think that when we have done something that is so bad we need to share it with another will unburden us. We think that by confessing our horrible sins like adultery, steeling, cheating, lieing ... ect ect, we will be forgiven and that it will unburden us and that when we share it, it will some how make us feel better is False! All it does it burden another and all too often causes pain to them in one way or another. It's best to deal with the burden yourself if you have wronged someone. Take responsibility for it yourself. Often telling someone leads to situations no one wants. Confessing what you have done (unburdening yourself) means putting it on someone else's shoulders. Sharing a burden is not a kind thing to do to someone you care about especially when it was them that was wronged. So buck up and carry that wrong doing all by yourself why should two people feel bad about something one person did?  If you simply can't deal with it yourself  go see a priest for it was not the other person that did it so why should they have to deal with your pain? 

Fear and self-mistrust: Most people can't handle all the repercussions that come after their great confession and look for ways to cover their asses putting the person they confided in, in a bad position. In the heat of the moment they just had to tell some one and they picked you. Oh shit! Now they think you hold power over them. You know something bad about them and they just now realize you could be a threat to them. You could tell their secret. They have a choice to make. They have to either trust you completely or do away with you. These fears stem from the person who has just confessed the wrong doing. They look into themselves and ask if they could keep such a juicy tid bit of information. Usually the answer is no. Because they could not be trusted with such info, what makes them think the person they told could? So they start actions to cover their ass, damage control. They distance themselves from the person holding the secret and begin picking them apart and bring their faults to light for others to see just in case their secret is ever reveled so that persons credibility would be at least doubted. Fear motivates them and starts a huge chain of events that end up being a self fulfilled prophecy come true. And the person they unburdened themselves to has to deal with unwanted situations they didn't need or ask for. 

     So whenever someone wants to confide in me I think twice about it. When someone starts telling me a deep secret or a confession, I back right off. No, I think that they can keep that little dark ditty all to themselves thank you very much. Unless you are a very close friend that I know has the utt most trust in me, like I was a bank with your life savings in it, unless I know you trust me like that, I don't want to hear your confession or know your secrets. I do not need to be the subject of your later fearful actions because you where in a manic state (gitty with joy at the new love you found while still married ) and told me then, it caused me to be ostracized from my family or friends because you later regretted telling me and had to cover your ass.

     It is best not to know a friends secret confession because the price you may pay for them to unburden themselves, just might be using you as an escape goat or worse get you exiled just because you listened to their confession and are seen as a threat now.

     When in doubt, stay friendly never familiar. You deal with your own burdens yourself like an adult for to share them is to only share the pain. People who really love each other don't burden others with things they can do nothing about except to wallow in the knowledge of it . Take responsibility for your own actions or see a priest or psychologist but leave your friends and family out of it especially if your the untrustworthy one. Telling a secret to someone then setting them on fire to burn for knowing it, is the most underhanded, week, pathetic thing one person can do to another yet, it happens everyday. The most unrecognized danger is,

"Psssst, come here I have a secret to tell you."

This was Taken from "Living Life Perfectly Imperfect" by Linda Pitt

I wish you all well. Love Linda :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLpfbcXTeo8

Thanks Phil!



  



          
    

    

    

    

Are The Mistakes We Make In Life Really Mistakes?

Mistakes? Do we really make mistakes in life? Are they really mistakes?

     How do we learn? Through others vicariously and our own mistakes. If we lived, what we think is the perfect life, where nothing really bad ever happens except the loss of a parent, (as it should be) and we are never pushed or tested to the limits of our physical and mental capability, then is that a life? No, that's just populating the planet. Some of us may be nervous little squirrels stressing about hoarding for the future as the surrounding enviorment dictates our life experiences. Some are sheep breeding, following the flock and having a herdsman care for their best intrest. And if your in a wolf pack, and your not Alpha, your stressing about what the others think and feel about you pissing yourself.

     Think about it, is the perfect life really perfect? Do we need to make mistakes and are they really mistakes? Mistakes are necessary to everyone on this planet and someone has to make them or no one learns. If you have ever learned anything in your life vicariously then thank that person because you didn't have to go through it. If you have ever been strong enough learn from your own mistakes, be thankful for the lesson because most of us are not strong enough and end up getting lost in our losses, wallowing in regret and shame, never learning from it and passing it on. (Why me?) The shame of our mistakes keeps us silent as we watch others floundering not realizing that our mistake was their lesson never taught. The deep shame we hide over the mistakes we have made and didn't share or teach, reveals itself in the harsh criticism we unleash on others who make mistakes.

     I have come to the conclusion that there really is no such thing as a mistake. I know it sounds unlikely that there are no such things as mistakes because everyone has had them and often marks them in their memories as the mistake I wish I didn't make. If I had not done this or that, than, this or that would have never happened. Oh my God what a horrible mistake I made when I married him or her because my life was ruined. Now look what I have to deal with. If I had not had that 5th child, or bought that house, or gotten that dog or even robbed that bank or lied or made that bad investment, I would not be in this situation now.

     Yes, our own actions cause the situations we find ourselves in but, it is when we are in them we learn and so do others. We are all in this life together. We are each a gift to everyone else on this planet. Just by being who we are we teach. But, what are we teaching? If our life experiences are that of  a sheep then that's the gift we give. If we have lived a horrible life filled with mistakes and intolerable situations that lead us to our demise than, that too is what we teach. And if we go out there and make mistakes and bring back lesson of recovery that gives hope and  likens us to others on this planet than, we become the real teachers.

     Mistakes, are they really mistakes or are they lessons we all need because, only through mistakes can recovery and rewards be earned, learned then passed on. Bravery and conviction, fortitude and compassion, wisdom and transference are all learned through mistakes someone had to make, to be able to pass them on to you. So, are they really mistakes or are they a necessary process to being alive and becoming a mentor. If you never failed then you have never had to pick yourself up then, what do you have to teach the 99% of the population who have? You teach them how to become sheep, squirrels, part of the herd, or how to piss your self in the presents of an alpha who has made many mistakes in order to get there. How can you teach them to ware the egg on their face well after a mistake and come out the other side triumphantly? How can you transfer life experiences you never had? You do it through someone who has had them using them as an example. Someone has to have had mistakes sometime during the existence of human life in order for all of us to learn or to be thankful for what we have.

     No, I don't think that mistakes are mistakes at all. I think that they are a necessary process for learning lessons for all of us. Mistakes are the syllibus for life. Without them there would be no ability to learn what life has to offer good and bad. It is through mistakes we learn. It is through transference they are passed on.

     Without mistakes we would be living, what we think to be, "The Perfect Life."  Then if so, we are sheep, squirrels and wolfs and if so, our souls would have no need to be here just to learn how to be breeders.

     Mistakes are necessary to everyone on this planet. So, if your one of those who have made them, forgive yourself for it is just the necessary process of an evolving soul and your doing what you can here on this Earth, to learn. If you haven't made mistakes thank someone you know who has for you have learned from them.

Each and everyone of us is a gift to learn from. I wish you well. Coollynn/Linda Pitt author of "What a Beautiful Story" ( filled with mistakes.) :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Skh6Bp_M_-o



    

Discovering The Importance of You.

When you discover the importance of you, the responsibility of that changes all your relationships.

     It wasn't until I was in my 40's that I woke up and discovered the importance of me and the responsibility that comes with it. I know we live in a world that wants us to see beyond ourselves and think of others. So the idea of self importance sounds like I am asking you to go in the opposite direction, even conceded, and self centered. But discovering the importance of you is exactly what is needed.

     I was 40 when I discovered the importance of me and the responsibility of that. Before that I blindly bullied my way through life not really caring about the impact my words or actions had on others, even those I liked and cared about. Just because I didn't care about what they were doing didn't mean they didn't care about me and what I was doing.

     I met a very young girl about the age of 18 that changed my perspective on how I interacted with others. She lived above me in a tri-plex apartment building and she was about to become a new mom sooner then she wanted to and she needed guidance and help in every aspect of her life. She was young, open and had trusting heart, eager to learn and get on with life, the perfect protege. Her mentor: an educated, experienced, self absorbed 40 year old who couldn't see the wonderful person that just walked into her life or how much this young female would teach her. 

     Yes that was me, the self absorbed 40 year old who thought no one was as important as me and my little family. After all if I couldn't give a rats ass about anything anyone else did, why should they care what I did, said or how I reacted to them. If you didn't like how I looked or what I was doing that was just fine with me because, I didn't give a shit about you so, what you think doesn't count right? I am not a victim of peer pressure. That mind set left me blind to so many wonderful people and experiences. 

     When ever I interacted with this young female, as with everyone else, it was more like yes, state your business and then be off because I am to busy to be bothered with you. I would help her with what ever she needed. I gave her advise and guidance and even a home when I moved to Maine so she would never have to worry about a place to live for her two little girls ever again. You would think that we would have had a very close relationship wouldn't you? But, even after years she was still calling me and as fast as she could she would say, 

     "Linda, just one quick question. I am so sorry to bother you."

     She was looking for help and advise on very important things in her life like very important doctor visits for her mother or children. Things like filling out college applications for grants to better her life. She was looking to me to share my experiences and education with her and I was giving her office hours that could only be breached in emergencies.

     Six years had past and another young single mom had entered my life and she too lived in an apartment above me with her mother, two brothers and two small children. Not one of them had a drivers licence and all of them had to live a limited life because of that. They could only work and shop at places they could walk to. This ignorance enraged me and I spent a year teaching her how to drive and used our Christmas bonus to buy her a car. Then it was off to fill out forms for grants to go to college. You could say I was deeply involved with this families life yet, when they would come down to my apartment I made them stand at the door and quickly state their business and be off.

     "Linda, mom made you some fudge because you are so kind to all of us."

I would answer, "I am not kind or sweet. It was not enjoyable going out and scraping off the ice and snow and warming up the car every day for a year to take your son to school and teach you to drive. It was just something that needed to be done and that's all. I am not sweet or kind just responsible."

     Then about a year later that young woman came to my door with her new husband to thank me for something and I let them in just enough so I could close the door and keep the cold out. As they stood there squatting on the small rug in front of my door, sweetly thanking me from the bottom of their hearts, it hit me and shame filled my soul.

     These people, these wonderful people have entered my life with gifts of love, respect and open hearts and I am making them squat on my front door rug like they are not even worthy of been invited into my home. The shame I felt as I looked upon their grateful faces tore my heart out. How awful of me to be so disrespectful to them by making them squat on my rug to thank me. How horrible am I that I only throw them scraps. How arrogant I was to think that just because they are not important to me, that what they were feeling for me should be treated with such disrespectful disregard. The shame I felt was overwhelming and I quickly asked them to sit at my table and offered them my complete attention with a gracious heart and rum and cokes.

     As I sat there listening to them prattle on and on about how much I have changed their life's, I was filled with the most important feelings I have ever felt, graciousness from them for respecting what they where feeling for me and not just brushing them off. What they were feeling was important to them and it called for respect from me. What they where feeling for me was a gift to me that I was throwing back in their faces by making them squat on my rug.

     It was a humbling experience to find out that I had been the most arrogant, self center, ungracious person I have ever known for over 40 years of my life because, I wasn't seeing the importance of me in others life's and treating them with respect. Just because you think someone is not important to you doesn't mean that you are not to them. When you recognise your importance to others it will humble you. You will see your children, family members, friends and even acquaintances in a new light. Remember each and everyone of us is a gift to share with the world and, it is through our talents we give it. (Bustin' Out of the Crowd)

     Now when I go to a family function or I am approached by an old school chum and they are so excited to see me, I am just as excited to see them because if you are that important to them, they should be to you, and their feelings call for respect. No one squats on my rug for just one quick question any more. (Actions Cause Situations)


   Leave no one emotionally indebted to you, for to do so, is the most shameful thing you can do.

P.S. These very same people who entered my life way back when years ago are now very important to me and without them I would have never moved on and wrote my book. Karma with lessons.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7RPCFfudmU

     I wish you all well. Coollynn/Linda Pitt Author of "What a Beautiful Story"

    
    

    

    



    

    

    

My Life Sucks! So I Am Gonna Make Some Lemonade!

Seems as if for the entire duration of my life, most of the time, it has sucked!

     For the first 40 years I have been here, there has been little joy in my life. Every now and again I would have a joyful experience and then...... the clouds would roll back in and it would down pour on me and I would have to spend years recovering from one loss or another. It's like my whole life was spent recovering from one tragic event to another.

     I can trace the beginning of my tragic events all the way back to the age of thirteen,1974, and if the events where not tragic like rape and molestation there where hard times that where filled with poverty and beatings that left me often shunned and belittle. My guts where in knots all the time as I struggled to survive the situations I lived in just for a warm house and food. 

     Ignorance and low-self esteem kept me in that world of daily failures. I was piling up one failure after another in every category of life possible. Relationships, finances, jobs and even my family life sucked. I wasn't ever getting ahead in anything and it seemed as if a break would never come. I was tired of struggling and frustrated that nothing ever worked out. Every time I would try to pull myself up and out of the shitty situation I was in, I would get the royal smack down. What the Hell? Life just plain sucked. 

     Every time I would make headway someone from my past would bring something up or a close family member would tell me that I was to stupid to do that and to quit dreaming because that will never happen, sending my self esteem back into the shitter to chalk up yet another failure. 

     "Oh Linda's divorced again. Linda has failed another relationship.  Linda has fucked up again. Did you hear what Linda did? Linda is an embarrassment to the whole family. Did you hear, Linda is going to college. What makes her think she can finish she can't spell for shit. Oh you read that book. Who helped you with the big words? You can't write a book you can't spell. You don't shit golden turds and it's my job to tell you that. Quit dreaming and come down to Earth."

     Every time I ever attempted anything that would push me up and out above the crowd a family member or mate would make sure I was told I couldn't do it because of a past mistake or flaw I had. They would bring up past events and remind me of all my flaws and weaknesses to show me that I had better not even try because I will just fail again. I should settle down and accept that I am nothing special and even worse a fuck up. Take that and add on top of it all the many years and failures I had in my life and no wonder it took me 50 years to be able to take all those "Lemons" and make lemonade from them and put it all to good use. I wrote a book about all those events in my life and then I sold it.

     Yupper you bet I did. I took all those tragic events and failures and based a story on them and wrote a book, "What a Beautiful Story". I took all those years of what I call Lemons and made lemonade and I sold it. 

     Oh yeah, I am still getting my share of lemons from old acquaintances and have been informed by family members (old and new sister-in-laws) that I am an embarrassment to my family but whats new? They have been telling that to me my whole life. But this time I am taking all those negative tongue lashings about my horrible past and putting it all to good use because I am that special. Oh ya, I am special enough to have lived through them and more so because I have learned from them.

     I want to let everyone out there know that the old saying, "When life hands you lemons make lemonade," is true. But what I want to add to that is that when people give you a shit load of lemons, don't just make lemonade and sit down to enjoy it all by yourself, use them to mentor someone or write about the events you have had and what you have learned from them. :) (Actions cause Situations: Allowing other people in your life) In that blog all those who ripped on me in their reviews and comments helped me make my point.

     This idea of selling lemonade, hit me when Oprah asked, "Can you write your autobiography in six words?" Well, I have been getting many bad reviews and nasty letters from old acquaintances and x-sister-in-laws on my book and I didn't know how to deal with all of it. Once again, people telling me I can't and even threats of legal actions against me an my family. Once again I was left doubting myself and was filled with frustration and anger. I hoped that it would all just go away but, it wasn't gonna stop and I was looking for it to only to get worse. With my stomach in knots I asked my guides,

  "What can I do to live with all this hate and anger I am getting?"

   Then Miss "O" came to my rescue with inspiration. Write your autobiography in six words. Not who I am, not what I have become but, my life story in six words. I had to think about it and then it hit me, I had a lemon of a life so why not make lemonade.

     The six words I chose to write my autobiography with were these, "Got Lemons, Made Lemonade, Sold it." Thanks Oprah!!!

     I wish you all well and when you get a shit load of lemons dumped on you make lemonade and if you can sell it. It's Karma at it's best.

Coollynn/Linda Pitt author of "What a Beautiful Story"

Bustin' Out of the Crowd: Standing Out From the Rest!

How can we stop mingling among the gray masses? How do we bust up out of the crowd and truly be successful in life? 

          By finding our own unique gift to share with the world and it's "Ourselves." 

     Each one of us has a talent and it's being ourselves. The biggest gift we are given is ourselves. Each one of us, in itself, is a unique gift to everyone else on this planet. Each one of us was created with a talent that if not discovered and shared results in frustration for us. How do I know this to be true? Because if you are still asking the question, "Why am I here?" you have not discovered that you are the gift. We all have asked ourselves that question every now and again throughout our life's. Those who know that they are the gift and use their talents to share it don't ask that question any more because they know why and they are bustin' out of the crowd.

"Why am I here? What is it I am supposed to be doing? What is the purpose of my existing?"

     We all can feel the uniqueness of ourselves and it is that awareness of our own uniqueness that drives the question, "What is my purpose here?" You wouldn't even question your purpose in life if you didn't feel that you were unique. It just wouldn't make sense to even think that way if you didn't feel you had something unique about yourself and therefore a unique purpose. You would be happy to just go with the crowd. But being our true unique selves is not an easy thing to be or find and then make a living out of it. But finding your gift, your personal talent of being you, living true to who you are is exactly what is needed to  live up and out of the crowd. 

     Oprah is the perfect example of what it is like living up out of the crowd and she did it by sharing her unique gift, herself. How brave at times she must have been to stick to her guns and not change herself. She has made the most wonderful life for herself being herself. She flung everything that was her out into the world with her emotional breast exposed, her eyes closed and her faith as a shield and said, "This is me, this is what I feel and believe in, this is my goofy name, face and body. This is who I truly am."  

     Our gift is our unique self. Each one of us just by being us, human, is a talent in and of itself. We are the talent. We are the gift. The gifts belong to our soul and our human body is the talent we use to share them with the world around us. Our gifts are the things that make us up. Our beliefs, morals, and convictions that our soul hold so dear. It is through our human bodies that we have the talents that allow the expression of gifts we give. 

     Oprah has the gift of conviction and faith in humans. Her talent was the ability to educate herself in broadcasting journalism. But, it was being true to who she was, true to her soul, that pushed her up out of the crowd and into a life beyond her dreams. She had to trust who she was and have faith that if she stayed true to being herself, not compromising because that's what the masses wanted, she would have what few of us are brave enough to even think about, a successful life just being ourselves.   

     Being ourselves, what must that be like to be yourself everyday all the time? How comfortable that must be to live true to who we are.  But like most of us we have no idea how to live life true to ourselves and that causes a life filled with unconscious frustrations that, every now and again, leads us to question why are we here. Those few souls who are living life true to their talents and are actively sharing their gifts with the world, they don't ask those questions because they already know. They are living the privileged life of being themselves. They know that their gift is the uniqueness of themselves and they share it through their talents with the rest of us. 

     For me I can say that I have found my way. I have found my unique talent and it is being me. I am loud, out spoken, and intelligent enough to back my ass up on any statement I may make. I have a life time of  hard lessons learned and I am brave enough to share them even if it puts me in a bad light if it comforts just one soul. I have the talent of advocacy and the ability of transference to share and ease others in need, "I have been there too.  We are all not so different."

     My gift is the hard earned ability to share being human with you through writing. I am brave enough to fling myself out there into the world exposing myself knowing that if I can't live life true to who I am, I will be  denying my unique purpose and live a frustrated life questioning why I am here. I use what I have so rightfully earned, my life experiences, my education and I am as truthful as my soul will allow, I share every lesson I have learned with you. My talent is storytelling. My gift is being brave enough to tell them. 

     Think of it like this, each one of us is a gift to share with the rest of us. In order to give the gift we need to use the unique talents we have to be true to who we are and to share it with others. Because, we are the gift, that is our purpose here in this life. 

     How do we share that unique gift that is only ours and live life in peace knowing what your purpose is? By being true to your self and who you are. That is much easier said then done. It takes a brave person to live life true but, there are those brave souls out there doing it. You have probably laughed at one of those brave souls in your own ignorance of them. I too use to laugh at them back when I was ignorant.  Now when ever I run across a brave soul out there really living life and doing what they truly enjoy doing no matter what they look like or what others may be saying, and I am in awe of them. Bravo! I see a woman who is fifty or a hundred pounds over weight in a bikini and pineapple drink in her hands splashing around on the beach with her skinny goofy hubby adoring her, and I am envious of their bravery. When I see someone belting out bad karaoke songs on stage like they where a super star, giggles of admiration bubble up inside me. It takes a brave person to truly be themselves and enjoy this life and share that with all of us. It takes a truly brave person to break out from the crowd and rise up. It takes being brave enough to be true to who you are so you can find your talents to brake out from the crowd. 

     Only when we are truly ourselves can we succeed in life. Being true to who we are is about as far away from perfect as we can get. So, it takes a brave person to be themselves among their peers. Living a perfect life is not living at all but, living life true to ourselves is as uniquely imperfect as life can get and it is meant to be shared. Only when we are true to who we are can we brake out from the crowd and have something truly unique to share with the world, ourselves. Each one of us is a gift.

I wish you well, Coollynn. Parts of this blog was taken from "Living Life Perfectly Imperfect" being written by Linda Pitt Author of "What a Beautiful Story" http://youtu.be/F-mjl63e0ms

                 

Actions Cause Situations : Divine Interevention, The Third Acting Influence on your life.

How Can We Tell When an Action was Caused by Divine Intervention?

     After you have done your investigation and now you can see how you and others affect your situations, you can start working on changing all that. Day by day you can send out actions to better your future situations. You can write your own story. You can look into college courses, start and art class, find a part time job, get your bills in order, set up a simple menu plan for the next week,write a letter or phone someone and end it with humor and hope, or plan an evening with a loved one. These are all positive actions that will affect your future situations even if you have no idea how or when they will return to you.  Just do it. Look to see what aspect of your life that really needs attention, money, love, human interactions or expanding your mind, then just do one thing everyday that will affect it in a positive way.  

     Even the smallest action will improve your chances that a pleasant situation will come about sometime in the future. Come on we have all had those unexpected positive situations that have resulted from some small positive action we have set in place some time in our past that pops up on us to surprise us.

     I was working as a waitress late at night. I was waiting for the bus to come and pick up our disabled dish washer. It was dark when the bus pulled up. I stepped forward to help him onto the bus when the bus driver hopped out with a huge smile on his face.

"Why Linda Pitt, is that you?"
"Yes it's me."

     He picked me up and gave me the biggest hug and when he sat me back down he said,

"I am Troy Cooper and I have had the biggest crush on you sense the third grade when you let me sit next to you on the bus."

     That small act of kindness came back to me and I have added one more person who thinks on me in a positive way. The same goes for a negative action it all comes back to us. How cool is that. Now when I go out and about I do this one thing, I put on my Angel Wings. Mentally as I walk out my door I close my eyes, take a deep breath and visualize that I am unfolding my wings. I shake them loose and give them a big stretch. I have just made a mental note that I will treat all those that cross my path with the respect and thoughtfulness of an Angel.

     Of course I am not Angelic by no means it just gives me something to set my emotions by as I come in contact with others like, un-judgemental, kindness, forgiveness and understanding. Visualizing the wings just helps me carry those positive thoughts throughout the day. Say to yourself,

"How would such a perfect creature act and view others?"

      Then pretend you are such a creature. (WWJD?) You now are a creature that is so comfortable with yourself that you are unmoved by other's outward emotions and can only see their intentions with an understanding heart.  

    As with Angels, they have to judge others and how they will react to them every day but, it is with the ultimate of understanding and intelligence and that's what I strive for. Do I practice this and am I perfect at it? Not always but it's worth an effort on my part everyday to try again. And yes, I believe that all Angels, guides and spiritual teachers have a bawdy sense of humor. Come on guys, they have see it all. If there is such a creature, as Angels, then they are perfect and not one of your emotional reactions could sway them to respond in a manner that was not to your benefit or at least would lead to teach you a lesson. They would only respond to our intentions and even that is subject to understanding.

     This leads me to the question, when can you tell when a situation you find yourself in is in fact one caused by Divine Intervention?     

     Only after you have looked at those people in your life, then to yourself and how all of them could have affected your situations. After you have made the needed judgment calls on who interacts and how much they can impact your future situations, can you begin to tell if the situation your find yourself in was caused by a Divine Intervention. Because, you have limited your list of possible suspects down to only those who have more positive actions then negative ones in your life then you will be better able to detect spiritual intervention when it happens. If it's not me and it's not you then it must be Divne.

     You have learned how to take control of your future situations by pushing positive actions out into your future and have begun to write your own life story then, and only then can you see when a situation is one of Divine Intervention. Once you have eliminated the "You" and the "Others" from the list of who is causing the unwanted situations in your life there is only one possible source left, Divine Intervention. 

     Once you have made the cuts and put the positive actions in motion then when something happens that is out of the blue, be it horrific or wonderfully life changing, you can the see the hands of intervention at work so much more clearer because you have eliminated the noise and clutter from your life. 

     I was in a horrible car accident that busted me all up. I couldn't work and I lost everything I had and was forced to leave my home and my loved one, Angie. For the longest time I was lost in my losses and I couldn't see that the accident was my saving grace, a Divine Intervention. Braking my legs released me from a dangerous situation that could have resulted in my death and placed me on an even more difficult path of learning. It forced me onto that hard and difficult path one I had to take to learn and to find myself. That action caused one after another unwanted situations that tested me as it pushed me in every way possible until I could see that every one of my life situations, good and bad, had pushed and pulled me closer onto my life's path, (what I was meant to be) and there for closer to my true self, and only then did I feel the flow of my own life's path.

    Years pasted and many hard situations later I came out the other side a battered writer with a smile on my face. I had made it. I know where I am going and how I will get there. I know what my gift is, it's me, and how to use it to create a rewarding life for myself, now that I can read the signs and learn the lessons from every situation I find myself in. Just ask these questions,"Who is it, why did it happen, and what does it mean, (correction or Affimation?)" 

     Every situation you have ever found yourself in was a result of an action put in place by either you, someone else or Divine Intervention. Every situation's outcome is either a course correction in your life path or an affirmation that your on the right path. It is your job to find out who is causing the actions so you too can see if it's you, others or if Divine Intervention has caused the situation. Wow, now you will be better able to see if the situation is a course correction or an affirmation and who to add, change or eliminate. Knowing who is causing the situations can lead to your own empowerment. That's really cool shit to know. Now empowered by this lesson, you can begin to write your own Beautiful Story.

     I would love to hear from you. What you have discovered, learned and if you have looked back and recognised those past actions that caused a life changing situation for you. Better yet ....... can you identify who caused them? 

     I wish you well, Coollynn/ Linda Pitt author of "What a Beautiful Story". Parts of this blog where taken from "Living life Imperfectly Perfect" being written by Linda Pitt.


    
    

Actions Cause Situations: Allowing others into your life

Other People's Actions Cause Situations in Our Life's.

     I wish I would have picked people in my past that were more.... well educated in life and what it means to be human. But of course, I was not so educated back then either and I am sure they are feeling the same about my influence in their situations. I let my heart, my finances and circumstances dictate the choices of people I allowed into my life with no regard to what that person may be doing to my future situations. I am still feeling the affects of people I let into my life (via my brother) twenty years ago. Hell just read my reviews on Barns and Nobles or Amazon. How about the old boyfriend back in 1976? They are still causing unwanted situations for me and those are the ones I barely spoke to ever in 33 years. Know me personally really? I can't warn you enough about choosing people in your life wisely because, even many years later they can affect your future situations with their actions. To those you allow into your life is just like saying,"Set me up for future situations." http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/what-a-beautiful-story-linda-pitt/1100668181?ean=9781456068615 or    http://www.amazon.com/What-Beautiful-Story-Linda-Pitt/dp/145606861X  See what I mean, you never know how they will return and bite you in the ass and these are the people I rarely spoke to.

     Actions, no matter if it's you, someone else or Divine Intervention, cause situations that you will find yourself in sometime in the future. Every situation you have ever had for your entire life was caused by an action. Even the unconscious ones like pretending to love someone has caused countless situations in my life and they were caused by me. Knowing who is causing the situations, good or bad, is the key to bettering your chances at more rewarding and pleasant situations in the future. Knowing that I was not being true to myself by pretending to love someone, was the action that started many unwanted situations in my life for years. So the first thing to correct was my own actions.
     An action is needed to have a situation. When will you see the situation??? Well, it all depends. Some actions cause situations that happen as quickly as a moment. You smile at a stranger and they smile back. You may attend college and ten years later your using your skills. You let someone into your life for a year and their actions show up in situations twelve years later. Actions, no matter who started them cause situations I kid you not. So, choose the people you allow to affect your future situations carefully. This would be the second correction you make to better your future situations.
     To be able to really work this simple principal you will need to do a little investigating. If you are finding yourself in too many unwanted situations then you will have to look and see who put the actions in place that keeps causing them. If it was you, you can correct that by putting more positive actions out into your future (even if you don't know how it will pay off or when.) Look to your talents to start guiding you. If it is a family member then distance yourself from them. Even a close life long friend may be sending you down countless detours off your own life's path. When you allow others into your life you are saying that it's OK for them to possibly detour you off your own path. Well for me I haven't that much time to waste anymore. So, I am very careful who I invest my time in and who will be allowed to affect my path. 
     I am eliminating those who will put negative actions into my future situations and I am aware of how I can push more and more positive actions out into my future for more pleasant situations for me. Every time you meet someone look at their intentions before you look at them. Don't judge them on appearances alone. Ask what do they want or expect from me? What can I expect from them should I invite them into my life and there for into my future situations? Please pick people who can only push positive actions into your future and you for them. If you can not completely wish them well in all they do, then leave them as acquaintances because you can probably only detour their path and your own as well. 
     Once you begin pushing positive actions into your future and choosing people in your life that will do the same, your future situations will get better and when those old negative situations creep up on you, will be better able to deal with them knowing that those are just past events to be dealt with and you have better ones on the way. Soon you will find that you're having more and more pleasant situations as the unwanted ones fall off.
     Why is it so important to find out who is causing the unwanted situations? Because once you eliminate the you and the others in your life as possible suspects in the bad situations you will be better able to see when Divine Intervention happens in your life.

This was taken from "Living Imperfectly Perfect" being written at this very moment by : Linda Pitt/Author of "What a Beautiful Story" I wish you all well, Coollynn.
Next:  Divine Intervention....